Stuck in Juba - Part 2

Blog #2 - 29 June 2014

Today I am thinking about unexpected blessings. When I first heard that we were going to be stuck here in Juba for 4 more days than expected I was really horrified. When I was here last year I really hated my time in Juba. It was hot, boring, and lonely. There was also uncertainty about food and water and the whole place just smelled terrible. Both coming and going, it was the place that was keeping me from where I really wanted to be - either Nyinbuli or home.

Juba 2014

This time around I can say that Juba has grown on me quite a bit. I've seen a lot more of the city and although it's not a clean or comfortable place, there are some little lovely things that I hadn't noticed before. For example, in the middle of crazy traffic - even though everyone is pushing to get into any open road space - people are still watching out for each other. The driving seems a bit chaotic to my American eyes, but there is a watchfulness to the drivers here. They are aware of the other vehicles - cars, trucks, motorbikes, and donkey carts. And they are aware of the many jaywalking pedestrians. They are even aware of the dogs, goats, and children that may wander into the streets.

Juba 2014

Beyond this hyper-awareness, they are patient. Everyone wants to get where they are going, but I hear no yelling or cursing. Even the horn honking is only done to warn other drivers or pedestrians of passing or turning. It's not done in anger. This amazes me, because I can hardly drive for ten minutes without feeling the need to yell at one or more of the drivers around me. The driving here may be wild and chaotic, but the drivers seem more even tempered and patient. The roads here are in terrible condition and there are no traffic lights or street signs, but there is no road rage. What is wrong with us that we can't have this kind of peace in our peaceful, controlled driving?

Another lovely thing I've discovered about Juba is the Nile region. On Saturday, I went with my little team and some NGO workers from IAS and from ZOA on a little boat trip on the Nile. Downtown Juba is kind of ugly and stinky, but the river is beautiful. Everything was so green and the air was much cooler on the water. I know the water isn't very clean - they are having a cholera epidemic after all - but the air above it is still glorious. As we motored down stream to our destination - an island village - I saw many colorful birds, gloriously tall trees, and smiling faces of swimming children. It took us about 20 minutes to get to the island. I was thinking it would be rather small, but I discovered that it was quite large. I don't know what the total population is but I do know that there are several primary schools on the island and that the one we visited has about 700 children attending. Still, it was a rural place - similar in feeling to Nyinbuli - even though it is very near the big city.

White Nile - Juba 2014

White Nile - Juba 2014

A mountain view from the island - Juba 2014

The people we met there seem to have been forgotten by those on the mainland. It is my understanding that they have been without schools and without access to clean water far longer than should have been allowed. IAS has been working hard to bring in bio-sand water filters - a very expensive and time consuming project - so that the island people can drink the water from the Nile without poisoning themselves. They can't dig wells there because the water table is too shallow (only 6 feet) so the filters are the best solution right now. Another NGO has built the schools and is providing teachers so that the children can be educated and given opportunity and access to the world.

Water filter on island - Juba 2014

Of course, I "report" these things as if I actually know all the facts and completely understand the circumstances. There is a very good chance that I really have no idea what I am talking about (please remember that whenever you read my stuff). Okay, now that I've said that.... Let me tell you my experience in the island village. Our little group had the opportunity to do a little village tour. We were first taken to the church. As we approached we could hear children singing inside. We entered and sat down to watch the boys and girls practice for Sunday service. When they were finished we greeted them all and told them how lovely they were.

The IAS man, Daniel, who had brought us there and worked with these people, told us that at some point (when wasn't clear) the children had decided that they would like to devote their Saturdays to fasting and praying for the church and the village. This is a remarkable commitment from these children and they have seen very tangible results from their dedication. There was a lovely feeling of peace in that place. Even the town crazy guy seemed harmless and friendly.

After we finished at the church; the children took us to see their school. They lingered for some photos but soon went back to their practicing. Let me just reiterate that there were no adults making these elementary age children do this. They were giving up their Saturdays of their own free will, and from what I could tell, were more than happy with their decision. Out of a community of nearly 700 children these 20 or so individuals gave up a day of play and leisure to pray and sing to God on behalf of their community. Amazing!

One of the schools - Juba 2014

A classroom - Juba 2014

Graffiti is different in SS - Juba 2014

As we continued our island tour, we were led through thick brush and tall grass by a local man. Soon we emerged into a small plot of banana trees and okra. These little farm plots are hidden in the bushes. It is like a secret surprise in the jungle. I also saw maize, cassava, sorghum, and cucumber. There were definitely others, but that's all I can remember.

A farm in the jungle - Juba 2014

Eventually we re-boarded our boat and headed back to Juba. The ride upstream was about 30 minutes and it was just as lovely as the one downstream. There were many children playing in the water and they would try to race us as the boat motored by. We also saw people washing their clothes and themselves there in the Nile. The water isn't really clean enough for this, but then again, this is the best they have.

Greeting - Juba 2014

Racing - Juba 2014

All in all, Saturday was a fantastic day and it made me really glad to be here in Juba. We finished up our day with good food and World Cup Soccer. Everyone here is crazy for soccer and the craze is catching. I whooped and hollered along with everyone else whenever we watched a game (every night).

Today is Sunday and later this morning we will travel across town to attend church with our brothers and sisters here in Juba. I think it will be wonderful and I am really looking forward to it. Afterward we are going to have lunch at one of the really nice restaurants here in Juba. I'm looking forward to that as well. Tomorrow we will get to the airport early and board a WFP flight to Aweil and from there we will drive to Nyinbuli. I probably won't have another update until I am safely arrived there. Please pray that we have good internet service there. And please pray that we will be obedient and helpful during our time there. Until next time.... I love you all and I'll see you soon.

Stuck in Juba - Part 1

Blog #1 - 26 June 2014

It's hard to believe that after 3 days of traveling I am only halfway through the journey to Nyinbuli, South Sudan. For now I am waiting in Juba for a flight to Aweil. We had planned to leave tomorrow (Friday, 27 June), but are now being told that there are no flights until Monday, 30 June. This is pretty frustrating, but we will try to make the best of our time here in this dirty, stinky city.

I'm traveling with three other women; Holly, Ginnie, and Jane. Holly is the friend who first invited me to accompany her to South Sudan in March of last year. She works for IAS as a midwife in the Nyinbuli clinic. Ginnie also works for IAS. She is a photographer and a recorder of stories. She is gathering pictures and testimonials to bring back to the US and to share with donors and other interested parties. Jane is a student from San Diego. She found IAS and Holly through a Google-search over a year ago and has been planning and preparing to come here since that time. We are a pretty interesting team.

Jane brought a whole suitcase full of clothing for children and babies and we are hoping that we can go to one of the orphanages here in town and gift them with these items. I'm not sure if this will actually happen, but it would pretty great.

In other news, it's rainy, hot, and humid here in South Sudan - just as predicted. We are squeezed into some rather tight quarters here at the IAS Juba office, but the facility is quite sufficient to our needs. My only major complaint is the lack of good internet. Actually, I think that's everyone's complaint. We all depend on the internet to communicate with our friends and families back home and it can be incredibly frustrating to have that life-line fail. But I think we came here knowing that this kind of thing would be an issue. Instantaneous communication is a luxury, not a guarantee. Coming to this part of the world involves letting go of many of the things we are accustomed to having near at hand.

I know I have mentioned this kind of self-denial in past posts, but I as I experience it again I feel the deprivation as if it were the first time. Oh how I miss air conditioning, internet, and indoor plumbing. I am so spoiled by these things that it feels like a part of my life is missing. How odd. I don't need A/C to survive, but I long for it as if it were a staple.

I also long for sanitation. Everything here is so dirty. The streets are dirty, the floors are dirty, I'm dirty. I'm not a clean freak by any means, but I would really like a bottle of bleach and good mop so I could do something about the toilet and shower stalls. Anyway, I've complained enough.... Thank you for your prayers and please know that even though some aspects of my life here are not so comfortable or pleasant I am grateful to be here in this place.

Garbage in road in Juba - Africa trip 2013

Almost there

Departure date is June 23rd.  We return July 15th.

I am so not ready for this.

And I'm back

Forgive me my absence from the blogosphere, I have returned. And I am also returning to Nyinbuli.  Perhaps this blog-space will become interesting again. But in the meantime.....

1 Corinthians 13 (The Voice)
13 What if I speak in the most elegant languages of people or in the exotic languages of the heavenly messengers, but I live without love? Well then, anything I say is like the clanging of brass or a crashing cymbal. 2 What if I have the gift of prophecy, am blessed with knowledge and insight to all the mysteries, or what if my faith is strong enough to scoop a mountain from its bedrock, yet I live without love? If so, I am nothing. 3 I could give all that I have to feed the poor, I could surrender my body to be burned as a martyr, but if I do not live in love, I gain nothing by my selfless acts.
4 Love is patient; love is kind. Love isn’t envious, doesn’t boast, brag, or strut about. There’s no arrogance in love; 5 it’s never rude, crude, or indecent—it’s not self-absorbed. Love isn’t easily upset. Love doesn’t tally wrongs 6 or celebrate injustice; but truth—yes, truth—is love’s delight! 7 Love puts up with anything and everything that comes along; it trusts, hopes, and endures no matter what.
8 Love will never become obsolete. Now as for the prophetic gifts, they will not last; unknown languages will become silent, and the gift of knowledge will no longer be needed. 9 Gifts of knowledge and prophecy are partial at best, at least for now, 10 but when the perfection and fullness of God’s kingdom arrive, all the parts will end.
11 When I was a child, I spoke, thought, and reasoned in childlike ways as we all do. But when I became a man, I left my childish ways behind. 12 For now, we can only see a dim and blurry picture of things, as when we stare into polished metal. I realize that everything I know is only part of the big picture. But one day, when Jesus arrives, we will see clearly, face-to-face. In that day, I will fully know just as I have been wholly known by God. 
13 But now faith, hope, and love remain; these three virtues must characterize our lives. The greatest of these is love.

Picture Journal - More Juba and also... Aweil

(Special note... I originally began and completed this blog entry on August 26th.  After several hours of work I 'published' and my internet browser immediately crashed and I lost everything.  I cried a little and then started over.  I only got half way before it was time to run off to some engagement.  Anyway, I forgot all about it until today.  So here I am, finishing what I started nearly a month ago.)

I have no deep thoughts to share today.  But I do have pictures.  Here are a few more photos from my journey.

In my first photo-blog, I included pictures of the house where Holly and I lived for our short stay in Juba.  This is the front porch of that home.  You can see the guard-shack on the right side of the picture.  The window seen to the right of the porch is the bedroom where Holly slept.  My room is left of the porch and the last window on the left is another bedroom.  That one belongs to the home owner, Jessica, who was on vacation.

front of house - Juba, SS

There were 3 more bedrooms on the back side of the home.  One of those bedrooms belongs to Al.  He was also away on holiday.

These are Al and Jessica's vehicles.  Also seen... another window to Jessica's room, a storage shed, and the source of running water to the home.  Those big tanks hold the water that is used for showering, toilet flushing, and hand/dish washing.

The water is brought up from the Nile in big trucks and pumped into the tanks.  After being used, the water empties into a septic tank in the back yard.  Eventually another truck comes and pumps out the septic and takes the water back to the Nile.  If there is any sort of filtering or cleaning in between these processes, I would be very surprised.

FYI, there is a well on this property.  It is directly behind where I am standing in this picture.  They hope to have that hooked up to the plumbing someday.  It would certainly be much cleaner.  And they could filter the water and drink it instead of buying bottled water all the time.

side of house - Juba, SS

During my investigation of the property, I was shocked to discover this Shrike (and several others) in a tree in the backyard.  Shrikes are familiar and so this little one made me feel at home.

young shrike - Juba, SS

Here is my room.  The bed was not comfortable.  It was hot and stuffy unless the power was on and the fan was running (as it was most evenings from 7pm until 11pm).  But it had mosquito netting on the bed and it was my personal space in a strange place; so I was extremely thankful for it.

my room - Juba, SS

It was clean and - after I added a sheet to cover the window - it was private.  What more does one need?

Because of the difficulties with electricity (and the added frustration of no gas for the oven) Holly and I had to venture out into the streets of Juba to find our meals.  We ate one lunch at the IAS Office and we had a dinner at a restaurant.  The rest of our meals were purchased at street vendors or corner markets.

Nice part of town - Juba, SS

This was our favorite food stall and we visited it more than once during our 4 days in Juba.  She sells chicken and chips and some sort of potato stew.  The chicken is already cooked (deep fried) and then stored in the glass fronted box.  The chicken is not store-bought.  She probably raises her own and butchers them herself each morning.

Chicken & Chips - Juba, SS

When we arrived at her cart we would tell her what part of the chicken we preferred and she would throw it back into the fryer to reheat.  She would also cook the potatoes at that time.  They were as fresh as the chicken.  After she boxed it all up we paid about $4 total for both meals.  It definitely took longer than ordering fast food, but it cost less and tasted a million times better.  Honestly, it was the best chicken I've ever had.  Apparently it really does taste better fresh.  Also, no genetic tampering or growth hormones.

delicious dinner - Juba, SS

The vegetables were deliciously fresh and perfectly ripe.  I even ate some of the onion and I don't like raw onion.  That's how good it was.  I did not eat the spaghetti.  That is added to make the meal seem "fancy".  Greasy noodles are not yummy, but greasy chicken is scrumptious.

samosa - Juba, SS

I also tried my first samosa. This one was filled with beans and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Holly and I arrived in Juba in the late afternoon on Thursday, 27 June.  And we left Monday morning, 1 July.  Our flight to Aweil was pleasant.  The plane was the smallest I have ever flown on and it was very loud.  But the pilot seemed to know what he was doing and we landed (relatively) smoothly on the dirt runway in Aweil.  That is when I encountered the strangest airport I have ever seen.  Actually, I think it is more appropriate to call it an airfield - it's certainly more descriptive.

I know this sort of thing is normal in much of the world, but it was my first "bush" experience.  Of course, this is downright fancy compared to the runway at the clinic in Nyinbuli.  I'll have to ask Holly to send a picture of it because I forgot to take one. It was not an impressive sight.

Aweil Airfield - Northern Bahr el Ghazal State, SS

The open-fronted tukul is the check-in/baggage retrieval/waiting area.  And the W.F.P. tent is where the security check is done before boarding.  There is another open-fronted tukul to the right of the tent (a second waiting area) and right of that is the office - a small, enclosed tukul with 2 desks inside.  The outhouse (another grass tukul) is about 50 yards behind and beyond the W.F.P. tent.  I had the displeasure of using it twice before our car arrived.  Thank you, Jesus, Holly had toilet paper in her bag!

The structures under the trees to the left are food stalls.  There were more than I would have thought necessary for that tiny airport.  The motorcycle is parked in what might be thought of as a parking lot, but I got the impression you could park wherever you wanted.  The log that can be seen in the picture is actually a bench.  There were two.  Holly and I were sitting on the other one as I took this picture.

Just past the office, on the right, I noticed this home and decided to take a picture.  It amused me that people were living and growing crops right there at the airfield.

tukuls and crops at Aweil Airfield

I believe the crop is sorghum, something I saw everywhere and still can't identify.  It is one of the staple foods for the region.  I ate quite a lot of it, most often in the form of a stiff porridge called Acita.  I'm not sure of the spelling.  It was pronounced uh-see-ta and is similar to ugali, which I also ate.  I preferred the ugali, but I was alone in that opinion.  I did like the mandazi that was made with the sorghum.  Actually, I just really like mandazi and it doesn't matter what you make it with.  Okay, moving on...

So, I took the above pictures and then I turned around and took this one.  This is the airstrip as seen from the parking area in front of the office.  Okay, actually the airstrip is the orange road at the horizon of this picture.  The rest of the cleared (grass-free) area seems to be used for parking.  If you look closely you can also see the road to Aweil heading off to the left.

Aweil Airfield, the runway - Northern Bahr el Ghazal State, SS

Holly and I landed in Aweil at around 10:30am.  Unfortunately, IAS Nyinbuli thought we were coming in the afternoon.  We waited on our bench under the tree for about 3 hours.  We made the best of it.  Holly had Despicable Me in her iPod Touch and we watched that until the battery gave out.  We ate some food we had packed for the trip; hard boiled eggs, crackers, and dried fruit.  And we watched the people; especially the children.

Meanwhile, the manager of the airfield watched out for us and checked on us several times.  He was very concerned that we hadn't been picked up yet.  When the place closed down and everyone left he was nearly beside himself with worry.  But we had contacted the Juba office and they had contacted Nyinbuli so we knew someone was coming.

Tired people - Aweil airfield, SS

Still, we were extremely relieved to see the truck when it came down the road.  Brian - a missionary pastor from Kenya serving in Nyinbuli along with his wife (Deborah, clinical officer) and son (Daniel, two year old) - and Bulis - a native, employed by IAS as driver - were extremely apologetic.  We piled into the Land Cruiser and headed into Aweil proper for some shopping and lunch.  Oh, and to pick up Emmanuel, another Kenyan missionary (clinical officer / nurse) who had been attending a meeting.

The Aweil market was crowded and colorful.  Holly and I wandered a bit in the narrow aisles, but we attracted too much attention and the crowds became overwhelming so we made our way back to the truck.

Overwhelmed person

Weather-wise, Aweil was cooler than Juba had been.  I'm certain this was partly because structures and people weren't quite so pressed in on each other.  There was also a breeze.  Still, this was rainy season so it was humid and muddy and sticky.  Honestly, at this point I was feeling hungry, tired, and uncomfortable.  I really just wanted to move on and find a bed to sleep in.  But the shopping needed to be done if we were to have anything to eat in the coming weeks.  With God's help I remained cheerful and open to the experience.

Person who feels right at home

As far as I could tell, Holly was not having any problem being cheerful.  She was ecstatic to be so close to her new home and she was pleased to be sharing all this stuff with me.  Holly helped me to get through this exhausting day.  She let me be quiet and distant when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed.  She talked about and explained things without my having to ask.  She went out of her way to help me see what was beautiful and precious about the place and the people.

Walking in the market - Aweil, SS

Speaking of beautiful and precious... The woman pictured below called out to me from her little store and motioned me over.  She was all smiles and very chatty, but I couldn't understand a word she was saying.  Brian came over and told me that she had seen my camera and wanted me to take her picture.  It seemed odd to me, but I obliged and then showed this picture to her.  She laughed and smiled and I decided that I was very glad I had taken it.  It turns out that, unlike Americans, the South Sudanese like to have their pictures taken by strangers.

friendly people - Aweil, SS

I'm not sure how long we spent driving up and down the lanes and shopping in the Aweil market, but it felt like an eternity.  Finally we were done (maybe 2pm) and we decided it was time to have some lunch.  I was amused by some of the names of the 'fancy' restaurants.  I think they are trying to appeal to western travelers and foreign aid workers.

"fancy" restaurant - Aweil, SS

We ate a late lunch at the BBC Restaurant (I'm pretty sure there is no affiliation with the BBC).  Anyway, we parked across the street and then walked over to the hand-washing station to the right of the building.  It was a large, raised trough with several spigots and little bars of bright blue soap.  I washed my hands when it was my turn and was also introduced to a new normal.

In SS (like in America), people wash their hands before and after meals, but they also wash their mouths and do a lot of spitting.  Eew.  Spitting is very common, so is nose picking, same-sex hand holding, and into-hand nose blowing (no tissues available).  Not so common... hugging, public farting, crying, kleenex using, shirt wearing, etc.

another "fancy' restaurant - Aweil, SS

In the above photo, you can actually see our table.  We were served a thick lentil soup, flatbread, and bottles of almost cold Pepsi - no utensils.  We said a blessing and then began eating.  I was told that all food handling must be done with the right hand.  Umm, how do you tear flat bread with one hand only?  I couldn't figure that out, so I was a dirty American and used both.  I did try to be sneaky about it.  The meal was a bit more bland than I was expecting, but still pretty tasty.

While Holly, Brian, and I ate lunch; Bulis stayed with the car to ward off thieves.  After our meal; we retrieved Emmanuel from his meeting and then took him and Bulis some place for a bite while we waited in the SUV.  Afterwards we were finally ready to leave Aweil and head to Nyinbuli.  This is when I discovered why we had left the thing running all day.

Oh, did I not mention that whenever we stopped the car was left on?  Guess what?  Bad starter.  Yes, as you may have surmised, the car picked this moment to die.  Yay, I got to help push-start a Land Cruiser on a muddy street whilst wearing a full skirt.  Yes, I tripped on the edge of my skirt and nearly fell in the muck, but we did get the car started.  And that is when the real test began.

I know I have mentioned (many times) the amazingly awful roads in South Sudan.  That is only because they are totally awful.  The worst roads I have ever encountered in my admittedly very limited experience.  For the next 3 and a half hours we bounced along 80 miles of one of those roads.  I actually took video of the road on my way back to Aweil.

As you can see on my return trip it had been a rainy morning, but on my way from Aweil to Nyinbuli we were heading directly west into the glorious afternoon sun.  We stopped one time for a side-of-the-road pee break.  My bladder may have appreciated the release, but there was no way I was going to empty it there.  Way too much audience and not enough cover.  But it was a relief to stop bouncing for a few minutes.  Of course, the car died again, but we managed to push-start despite the ubiquitous, canyon-esque potholes. 

We continued our westward journey and I managed to do what should have been impossible.  I actually fell asleep.  Or at least dozed.  At a certain point we got to the newest portion of the road and it leveled off.  What a relief.  By the way, I should have mentioned, when we weren't slowing down for enormous holes in the road, we were stopping for herds of cattle or sheep or goats.  And for those who think it may be fun to just ram the animals... do you enjoy being shot?  Actually, I don't know if anyone would shoot you, but the traditional economy is based on livestock and killing an animal that didn't belong to you would probably be a very serious offense.

Okay, I should stop speculating on things I don't really understand.  Where did I leave off my story?  Oh yeah, the road finally leveled off, I dozed, and then..... We arrived.  We drove and drove and drove and drove and then were suddenly just there.  The road is very nearly a straight line from Aweil to Nyinbuli (and on) so it was somehow shocking to be turning off into the bush.  And then I was shocked again when in about a quarter mile we were passing the clinic I had seen in Holly's pictures.  And then another quarter mile and we were pulling into the gate of the IAS compound in Nyinbuli.

IAS Compound - Nyinbuli, SS

Following Holly's joyous reunions and my shy introductions, we were shown our temporary home - after 3 days in the guest room Holly and I would move into the room she shares with Divinah, but at the moment of our arrival there was another guest occupying that space.

Holly showed me around the compound and then we went back to our room to do a little unpacking and settling in.  During our long drive I had noticed that I had maybe gotten a bit of a sunburn.  Yes, I had been instructed to wear sunscreen whenever I was going to be spending time in direct sunlight, but I had not taken that excellent advice on this particular day.  So I received my first (and only major) sunburn of my month in equatorial Africa.

super-attractive picture of sweaty, sunburned person

That burn sucked, but it healed in record time - I didn't even peel - and I was so distracted by the wonder of being in a foreign land that I mostly didn't notice the burn.  Except at night.  Sleeping was not helped by tender, sweaty skin.  But I'll talk more about sleeping and other Nyinbuli adventures in the next Picture Journal.... which I'm sure I will get around to writing soon.

Time-out

I have been home (in America) now for just over 2 weeks and every day I promise myself I will update this blog tomorrow.

There is so much that I have left unsaid - so many stories I've left untold - and now that I'm back in the states it has become so much harder to tell them.  It's not simply time and distance; the things I experienced just don't seem as real to me anymore and that makes me terribly sad.  I can't hear the village sounds or smell the village air.  There are no chickens shuffling around in the grass outside my room.  There are no village children staring in the windows at me.  There is no clinic to walk to everyday and there are no smiling neighbors testing my language skills with frequent greetings.  Everything here is just so disgustingly American.

Every day in Nyinbuli was an adventure.  Every moment was filled with possibility and newness.  I never knew what was going to happen next.  One morning, as I was walking to the clinic with Debbie and Divina, I noticed a snail on the path.  It had rained overnight so the creature was probably lingering in the cool clay before the hot sun chased it back into the grass.  A snail is not so unusual, except this snail was as big as my fist.  When I see a snail here at home it's usually about the size of my pinky fingernail or if I'm at the wetlands I might see a snail the size of a baby's fist.  And either way it's gonna be a snail with a flat, circular shell.  This snail had a long, tapered, conch-like shell.  It was the most incredible snail I had ever seen.  Of course, I'd left my camera in my room.

But now I'm home.  Things are "normal" again.  And I'm expected to step right back into the life I left as if nothing has changed.  In fact, I'm not allowed to have changed.  Too much is expected of me... I'm too dependable or depended on.  I can't leave and I can't have any other plans for awhile because everyone needs me to stay right where I am and refill that gap I left empty for a month and half.  When they are all done with me, then I can start to have a life.  I'm somehow, paradoxically, overwhelmed by the low expectations of my friends and family.

Ugh, I know this is just "feelings" and not the truth.  I am loved and people want me to pursue God and His purpose for my life.

I wish I knew what His purpose is for my life.

Pursuing God is really so much more difficult for me here.  There is so much distraction.  I'm afraid that I will never have that feeling of total dependence that I had in Africa.  I'm afraid because I'm pretty sure when I wake up tomorrow I won't feel the awe and excitement that I felt there every morning.  What if I it was all just a spiritual high?  What if every thought and feeling and revelation I had in Nyinbuli was just the result of an overstimulated, overly emotional mind?  Is it time to come back to the real world and realize that this is all there is for me?  Was I crazy to think that I could be more?  That I could have more?

I don't think so.  I think God has plans for me.  I think He wants to do a work in and through me.  And I think I want to let Him.  Yeah, I'm scared.  I'm weak.  I'm a lot of other wimpy things.  But He is strong and His power is made perfect in [my] weakness.  When I am feeling this uncertain and (let's just admit it) depressed, the only thing I know to do is go to God's Word.

Jeremiah 29: 11-13
"...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

John 15: 5a, 11, 15-16
I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you abide in Me and I in you, you will bear great fruit... I want you to know the delight I experience, to find ultimate satisfaction, which is why I am telling you all of this... I don't call you servants any longer; servants don't know what the master is doing, but I have told you everything the Father has said to Me. I call you friends. You did not choose Me. I chose you, and I orchestrated all of this so that you would be sent out and bear great and perpetual fruit. As you do this, anything you ask the Father in My name will be done. 

Isaiah 61: 1
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, for the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.

Philippians 3: 10-14
I want to know Him [Christ] inside and out. I want to experience the power of His resurrection and join in His suffering, shaped by His death, so that I may arrive safely at the resurrection from the dead. I'm not there yet, nor have I become perfect; but I am charging on to gain anything and everything the Anointed One, Jesus, has in store for me--and nothing will stand in my way because He has grabbed me and won't let me go. Brothers and sisters, as I said, I know I have not arrived; but there's one thing I am doing: I'm leaving my old life behind, putting everything on the line for this mission. I am sprinting toward the only goal that counts: to cross the line, to win the prize, and to hear God's call to resurrection life found exclusively in Jesus the Anointed.

Ephesians 2: 10
For [I] am the product of His hand, heaven's poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago.

2 Timothy 1: 7-8a, 11
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord.... And God chose me to be a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of this Good News.

Thank You, Father God, for making me for a purpose. Help me to passionately and whole-heartedly pursue You. I feel weak and alone, but I am neither because You are with me. You are Emmanuel.  You are with us.
Thank You, Holy Spirit; I will not fear because You are with me. I will step out in faith, even if I cannot see where my next step will land, and You will be faithful to guide me and to protect me. Even if I fall, I know You will catch me. Even if I fail.
Thank You, Lord Jesus, for loving me so totally. Thank You for making a way for me to have such a wonderful adventure with You in Nyinbuli.  I pray that You will make a way for me to go back again someday.
My God, please watch over Holly as she continues to serve You in that beautiful and difficult place. I pray that You would use her in miraculous ways. You are good, Lord. Amen.

Picture Journal - Traveling and Juba

Photos, finally....

Holly and I boarded a plane at Orlando International Airport.  We flew to Dulles International in Washington, DC and stayed overnight in a hotel.

That is Holly waving from our king-sized bed in the only room available in all of Washington, DC.  It was super-expensive, but we did get a delicious continental breakfast.

The next morning we took the hotel shuttle back to the airport.  We checked in at Ethiopian Air (standing in the longest, slowest line ever) and eventually boarded and began the 14 hour flight to Addis Ababa International Airport in Ethiopia.

This is a photo of a plane very similar to ours after landing at Addis.

Yes, we exited the plane in the open air.  First time for me.  And then we got on a tram/bus/thing that drove us to the terminal.

I learned a fun fact on this short journey that would become very important for the rest of my time in Africa.  Apparently you can drive on whichever side of the road you want.

Here I am sitting in Addis Ababa airport.  I was excited to discover that this part of Ethiopia is at a fairly high altitude.  We were surrounded by beautiful mountains and lush forest, but it was pretty chilly and I did not have a sweater.  So, Holly and I had some traditional Ethiopian coffee to warm ourselves up.

BEST.  COFFEE.  EVER.  No sugar or cream necessary.  It was the most amazing coffee I have ever had the pleasure of drinking.  This really surprised me because everything in this airport looked incredible sketchy and possibly diseased (ask me about the bathroom later).

Addis Ababa Airport has many lounge chairs scattered about so that you can take a nap between flights.  When you have been in the air for 14 hours and now have long layover these chairs look like the most comfortable sleeping surface in the world.  Unfortunately for us, in this part of the world, only stinky men get to use the awesome chair-beds.  We had to make do with regular, everyday seating.

See us trying to be cheerful about it?

After waiting for many hours for 2 chairs to become available, we gave up and headed to our departure gate only to discover upon our arrival that there was nowhere to sit.  Again, stinky men get priority.  Ladies have to stand or sit on the floor.  We opted for the floor.

Finally, we boarded our plane.  It looked a lot like this one.

It isn't this one though, because I took this picture from my seat on our plane.  But I think that you can get the general idea of shock and awe I was feeling at this moment.  (This plane has propellers.  Ack!)

Despite my distrust of this particular aircraft, we had a very pleasant flight to Juba, where we again exited in the open air.  In fact, you should take the open-air exit as a given when traveling in this part of the world.

We landed safely in Juba and were met at the airport by two gentlemen from the IAS office there.  They helped us find our bags and get them to the SUV.  Holly and I were very glad to be arrived in Juba so we relaxed in the backseat and chatted with these new friends.

The road you see out the front window is paved - I think we can call it "Main Street" - and it is the only paved road I saw in Juba. 

There are no traffic lights and no street signs.  On the paved road we stayed on the right.  I was quite relieved.  Soon though we were on deeply rutted dirt roads where everybody just took their half out of whatever side they wanted.

Juba is the capital city of South Sudan.  Just remember that when you read these facts.

• There is no electricity except what privately owned generators provide.
• There is no plumbing.  If people have a toilet or bathing facility at all, it is generally outside.  Toilets are outhouses and baths are buckets.
• Actually, some places do have indoor facilities and plumbing, but the water used comes from a huge tank (like having a personal water tower).  You pay a fee to have this tank filled by a couple dudes (city or government employees?) in a big truck.  This water would not be considered potable by U.S. standards.
• There is no drainage.  There are no gutters.
• There is no road maintenance.
• There is no garbage collection.  The roads are filled with piles and piles of empty plastic water bottles (because you can't drink the city water and there is no garbage pick up).

This is a picture of a street running parallel to the one the IAS compound and our borrowed house are on.  The garbage piles and  ruts you see are not on the shoulder.  They are in the middle of the road.  This road is actually pretty nice because so many foreign agencies and NGOs are located in this neighborhood.

Every home or business has a wall around it and a guard or two stationed on property.  We had a watchman at our house too.  Juba is a dangerous city and it was comforting to have him there.

The next 2 pictures are the view from our front door, first to the left and then to the right.  You can see the entry gate and the watchman's hut in one and in the other you can see the wall around our home and one of the previously mentioned water tanks in the distance.

Well, that is all for now.  This process of posting pictures takes a very long time here in Nyinbuli, so I will have to do another post another day.  I plan to show you more of Juba and tell you about our stay there.  I will also (eventually) post photos of Aweil and Nyinbuli.  And I have been asked to show some of the creatures I have been able to photograph.  I hope this will pacify you for now.

And here are two final pictures for this entry.  This is the yard and the office of the IAS compound in Juba.

  

This office is in the support partner for the mission in Nyinbuli.

Please pray that the IAS office in Juba and the IAS clinic in Nyinbuli would be of one mind, one heart, and one vision.  And that the provider of these ideals would be God alone.  Pray that these two teams, would be united in doing God's good work in South Sudan.

And as you pray, come against the enemy that would interfere in these things.  Pray that God's Spirit would reign here.  That His will would be done here.  And that His people would  not be pulled to the right or to the left but would press on toward the goal.

Thank you for your warfare.  Your prayers are vital to this place.