Uncomfortable

There is something about being uncomfortable that all of us (especially Americans) despise and therefore avoid. I'm not talking about pain per se, although that may be part of it. I mostly mean discomfort, something that is more an annoyance or temporary condition. Here are some of the uncomfortable things I have experienced recently...

The pins and needles feeling of not just your foot and leg, but also your butt falling asleep. Being in a closed space with a bad smell (being in an open space with a bad smell). Heat rash. The dull ache in your thighs brought about by having to squat to toilet. Bug bites. Being hot, constantly. Being too hot to sleep. Exhaustion. Dirty bathrooms. Bad chair/bed. A (very) long car ride down a (horribly) bumpy road. Airplane toilets. Airplane seats. Airplanes. Stinky airplanes. Being a woman surrounded by Islamist men (welcome to Addis Ababa Airport). Wearing skirts all the time. No eye contact with men. Strange food and strange customs. Swarming flies in the outhouse. Those flies landing on your bum as you try to accomplish your mission. Bees in the bathing stall. Spiders in the bathing stall. Anything alive in the bathing stall other than yourself. Bats flying into your room at night. Being surrounded by people who stare at you because you are white. Being mobbed by children (and adults) because you are holding a camera. Shaking the hands of people who are obviously dirty and or sick. Holding a baby who is not wearing a diaper. Being really dirty.  Bathing out of a bucket. I could go on and on and on and on.

So, I don't want you to think I am whining or complaining (much). These things are just part of life here or part of what it takes to get here. And being here is well worth it. Being here is awesome. Being here totally rocks my world. I am so amazed every day – I am in AFRICA! Instead of just wishing I am actually doing. Wow! Anyway, back to the point I was so awkwardly trying to make. It seems to me that if you want to actually DO anything to serve God and His children, then it is going to be uncomfortable. I think it's time to just accept this as fact. I mean, if you are only interested in serving yourself then I guess you don't really have to worry about it, but if you desire to do the mission you have been given – caring for the least, the lost, and the lonely, feeding the hungry, healing the sick, educating the ignorant, encouraging the brokenhearted, defending the downtrodden, loving the unlovable, touching the untouchable, carrying the truth of the love of Jesus Christ to the hurting world, any of that stuff – then you are gonna have to endure the hardship of some kind of discomfort.

Last summer, my church participated in a county-wide, multi-congregational, week-long, mission project called “Celebrate Jesus”. I remember how reluctant I was to knock on peoples doors and ask them about their needs - a key aspect of the mission. They were strangers, and strangers make me very uncomfortable. They might have said something mean or rejected me or asked questions I couldn't answer. They might have had needs I couldn't meet. What if they had smelled bad? What if they were drunk or high or dangerous? I imagined multiple scenarios of terrible discomfort and very nearly talked myself out of participating. To be sure, I did meet some of the very things I was fearing, but the world did not end. In fact, I discovered that in my discomfort I was far more likely to depend on God.

I begged the Lord three times to liberate me from its anguish; and finally He said to me, "My grace is enough to cover and sustain you. My power is made perfect in weakness." So ask me about my thorn, inquire about my weaknesses, and I will gladly go on and on---I would rather stake my claim in these and have the power of the Anointed One at home within me.

2 Corinthians 12: 8-9 (The Voice)

I have found the lessons of 2 Corinthians 12: 8-9 to be even truer here in South Sudan. It is in my weaknesses that God's mighty power shows through. So I must allow myself to be weak. I must be willing to step into a situation that is beyond me. If I want to see my God be mighty then I must be willing to be uncomfortable. I am so glad - so very, very glad - that God made a way for me to come here to Nyinbuli. How sad it would have been to have gone my whole life and never seen the greatness of my God. And I know that He is greater still. He is more awesome than I have seen and more awesome than I can imagine. Oh, thank You, Lord, for sending me to this hard place. I was blind, but now I see.

I hope and pray that this is a break-through in my Christian walk, and not just a momentary spiritual high. I want to be willing to go to the hard places, the uncomfortable place. I want to be willing to do the scary thing. I want to be willing to step into challenge. And I want to be willing to do this for the rest of my life. I don't want to retire from it or grow out of it or grow too old for it. Because it is in this danger zone that I have discovered a tendency to cling to Jesus. I have found it necessary to trust in my Savior. I am exalting in the closeness of Him. It's like I can smell the breath of the Spirit here and it is so sweet. I don't know that I should want to give that up for the safety that we Americans are always praying for. Even though the very thought brings tears to my eyes and fear to my heart, I would rather be out on this dangerous ocean where my feet may fail than anywhere else – whether it be the safe boat or the safe shore or the safe whatever – because this is where my Lord is. And isn't that the place I should want to be? He is my Safety. He is the Cleft of the Rock. He is my Shelter and my Strong Tower. He is my Shepherd. Not the boat, not the shore, not my mom and dad, or my A/C and plumbing, or my friends or the US government, or my home or my church. It is Him, my Savior. My Salvation. My God. Mine. And I am His.