So, this is our last night in Juba. We leave tomorrow morning, early. Fly to Aweil and then drive 2 or 3 hours to Nyinbuli. I am not looking forward to the flight, but the drive sounds kind of fun. (edit: it was not)
I will be very glad to get out of Juba. The air here is hard to breath. There is no electricity in this large city so generators run constantly. Also people are using natural gas and charcoal and wood fires. When the wind dies the smell is awful. At night there is a constant dull ache behind the eyes. It has got to be just terrible for the lungs.
It rained on and off and there was a lovely breeze today. I am glad that our last day here was so pleasant. Right now I am standing on the front porch with the computer propped up on the railing. It is the only place we have internet on the property. We could go down to the office for a better signal, but it is dangerous to walk the streets at night.
I hope to be able to post some pictures tomorrow or Tuesday. We will have better access to internet in Nyinbuli than we have had in the city (go figure). And perhaps I will be able to give a more thoughtful blog post instead of these random updates. Anyway, there is so much to tell and not enough time to tell it. The pictures will help, so I look forward to that.
I am so thankful to be here in this tough place so that I can bring it to all of you in a more personal way. There is much need here. So much. I can't understand how we have been so blind and so self-involved.
I don't remember a "rainy-day" fund being part of Jesus' ministry. Invest that "emergency" money in an actual emergency. God will take care of you and yours; He has called on you to take care of the least, the lost, and the lonely. They are out there. And they need what you have... Not iPods or television or frozen yogurt, but clean water, a dependable police force, health care of any kind, road maintenance and trash pick up, and Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
If you can't come yourself then find a way to give. If you can't give money or time to mission (local counts), then get on your knees and weep and pray for these people. Stand in the gap for them. Be their prayer warrior. You are literally filled with the Holy Creator of the Universe. You have power. PRAY! Pray without ceasing. Pray with passion. Pray with fervor. Pray.
Father God, thank You for this incredible opportunity. Help me to be what You have called me to be. Thank You for the amazing prayer warriors You have put into my life. I can feel their love and support. Thank You for answered prayer. I love You, Lord, and I pray that my heart would pour out praise to You for as long as I live. Amen.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Arrived
It took several days of flying but we have arrived in South Sudan. The 14 hour trip from Washington, DC to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia was by far the worst of it. That is a long time to be in a crowded space with no escape. But we made it and now we must wait here in Juba, South Sudan's capital city, for a flight to our final destination - Nyinbuli. I just want to be there already, so the waiting is painful. There won't be a plane out until Monday. Arrrrg! I know Holly is feeling impatient as well. And it is an unforeseen expense. We now have to feed ourselves and somehow navigate around this inhospitable place.
I wish I could expain to you how absolutely foreign this place is. Have you ever driven down a washout dirt road? Well all the roads here are washed out dirt roads, except they aren't dirt, they're clay. And they all have enormous hills and valleys every few feet and there is often a pile of trash just sitting there in the middle of it all. Nobody wants the roads to be like this, but there is no infrastructure in place to take care of it. There are no street signs. There are no understandable landmarks. I couldn't find my way back to the airport if I wanted to.
Interestingly enough, other than the shocking hills I can see in the near distance, the topography of this place is similar to Florida. The empty fields make me think of the St. John's river basin. And when we were getting into the car at the airport, I looked out over the city and I was reminded of some of the more rundown parts of Cocoa or Orlando. The weather is certainly similar, hot and sticky.
I have seen some creatures... a very large lizard with an orange creamsicle colored head climbing on a security wall. Two ginormous spiders in the barbed wire atop the wall of our compound. A small chirping bird. Cattle egrets (the same as we have at home, though I don't know what they are called here). And a swallow zooming around the airport. Nothing too mind blowing. I'll keep my eyes open.
Mostly what I see are people. Smiling, laughing, friendly people.
I am typing this entry from the IAS office here in Juba. Their vision and mission statement are posted on the wall.
More on all of this later. I am eating up all the internet time with my rambling.
Until then....
I wish I could expain to you how absolutely foreign this place is. Have you ever driven down a washout dirt road? Well all the roads here are washed out dirt roads, except they aren't dirt, they're clay. And they all have enormous hills and valleys every few feet and there is often a pile of trash just sitting there in the middle of it all. Nobody wants the roads to be like this, but there is no infrastructure in place to take care of it. There are no street signs. There are no understandable landmarks. I couldn't find my way back to the airport if I wanted to.
Interestingly enough, other than the shocking hills I can see in the near distance, the topography of this place is similar to Florida. The empty fields make me think of the St. John's river basin. And when we were getting into the car at the airport, I looked out over the city and I was reminded of some of the more rundown parts of Cocoa or Orlando. The weather is certainly similar, hot and sticky.
I have seen some creatures... a very large lizard with an orange creamsicle colored head climbing on a security wall. Two ginormous spiders in the barbed wire atop the wall of our compound. A small chirping bird. Cattle egrets (the same as we have at home, though I don't know what they are called here). And a swallow zooming around the airport. Nothing too mind blowing. I'll keep my eyes open.
Mostly what I see are people. Smiling, laughing, friendly people.
I am typing this entry from the IAS office here in Juba. Their vision and mission statement are posted on the wall.
Vision:
A godly, transformed society.
A godly, transformed society.
Mission:
To save lives, promote self-reliance and dignity through human transformation, going beyond relief and development.
To save lives, promote self-reliance and dignity through human transformation, going beyond relief and development.
More on all of this later. I am eating up all the internet time with my rambling.
Until then....
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Ready or not...
Here we go. In about four hours, Holly and I are boarding a plane and beginning our journey to Nyinbuli. Today we will fly to Dulles International Airport in Washington, DC and tomorrow we will fly to Ethiopia.
I have never spent more than 3 hours in an airplane. Even when I've flown to California or Washington state there were multiple plane changes. This flight will be 14 hours straight. I am kind of dreading it. I'm not a small person but I'm going to be stuffed into a seat meant for one. And I won't be able to avoid airplane toilet. Ugh! But ultimately this will all be worth it, because when the plane lands Holly and I will be in Africa. Can you imagine? I can't. And I won't have to, because I'll be there. From Ethiopia we will fly to Juba, South Sudan and we'll hang out there for a few days. And from there we will fly to Nyinbuli via a UN flight. (edit: flew to Aweil via Kush Air and then drove to Nyinbuli)
So those are the facts.... And here's another. I'm terrified. Like really, really scared. It makes me feel silly and foolish to be this frightened. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my family and to my friends and to my cats. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my comfortable life. I think I will miss my A/C and plumbing almost as much as I will miss my people. So, I'm afraid, but I'm going to do it anyway. There is more to life than what I know and what I see. I refuse to run from this incredible opportunity.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1: 7 NLT
Fear is not from God. It is found in my own weak flesh and encouraged by an enemy that wants me immobilized. I will not allow this fear to keep me from doing the things that God has set before me to accomplish. I will instead rely on the power, love, and self-discipline (or sound mind) the Spirit of the Lord has given to me.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me this opportunity to be a blessing and to be blessed. I pray I would be Your obedient daughter and that You would be glorified in all I do.
Please be with my friends and family as they pray for me and Holly. And please bring us safely back home so we can share these experiences with them. Above all, I pray Your Will would be done.
I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Gotta wrap up. Time to go!
I have never spent more than 3 hours in an airplane. Even when I've flown to California or Washington state there were multiple plane changes. This flight will be 14 hours straight. I am kind of dreading it. I'm not a small person but I'm going to be stuffed into a seat meant for one. And I won't be able to avoid airplane toilet. Ugh! But ultimately this will all be worth it, because when the plane lands Holly and I will be in Africa. Can you imagine? I can't. And I won't have to, because I'll be there. From Ethiopia we will fly to Juba, South Sudan and we'll hang out there for a few days. And from there we will fly to Nyinbuli via a UN flight. (edit: flew to Aweil via Kush Air and then drove to Nyinbuli)
So those are the facts.... And here's another. I'm terrified. Like really, really scared. It makes me feel silly and foolish to be this frightened. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my family and to my friends and to my cats. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my comfortable life. I think I will miss my A/C and plumbing almost as much as I will miss my people. So, I'm afraid, but I'm going to do it anyway. There is more to life than what I know and what I see. I refuse to run from this incredible opportunity.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1: 7 NLT
Fear is not from God. It is found in my own weak flesh and encouraged by an enemy that wants me immobilized. I will not allow this fear to keep me from doing the things that God has set before me to accomplish. I will instead rely on the power, love, and self-discipline (or sound mind) the Spirit of the Lord has given to me.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me this opportunity to be a blessing and to be blessed. I pray I would be Your obedient daughter and that You would be glorified in all I do.
Please be with my friends and family as they pray for me and Holly. And please bring us safely back home so we can share these experiences with them. Above all, I pray Your Will would be done.
I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Gotta wrap up. Time to go!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)
This song is the inspiration for the name of this blog. I will include the lyrics here, but they are also found in the music video.
CCLI Song # 6428767 | Joel Houston | Matt Crocker | Salomon Ligthelm
© 2012 Hillsong Music Publishing (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing) | CCLI License # 79126
You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail.
And there I find You in the mystery, in
oceans deep, my faith will stand.
And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves.
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your
embrace
for I am Yours and You are mine.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters, Your sov'reign hand will be my guide. Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me,
Your grace abounds in deepest waters, Your sov'reign hand will be my guide. Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me,
You've
never failed and You won't start now.
And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves.
And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves.
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your
embrace
for I am Yours and You are mine.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,
let me walk upon the waters wherever
You would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made
stronger
in the presence of my Saviour.
I will call upon Your name, keep my eyes above the waves.
I will call upon Your name, keep my eyes above the waves.
My soul will rest in Your embrace.
I am Yours and You are mine.
I am Yours and You are mine.
CCLI Song # 6428767 | Joel Houston | Matt Crocker | Salomon Ligthelm
© 2012 Hillsong Music Publishing (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing) | CCLI License # 79126
Feeling Anxious
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it
again: Rejoice! 5 Let
your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every
situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your
requests to God. 7 And
the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts
and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I guess I'm feeling a bit anxious. Btw, when did that "with thanksgiving" phrase get in there? I often whine at God when I "present my requests" to Him. Or I make a list of demands. Now I'm supposed to rejoice?
This kind of praying (apparently the right kind) takes exercise. But it is worth it. When I pray without thanksgiving, my prayers are self-focused, shallow, and needy. But when I acknowledge God and thank Him for all He has done, is doing, and will do, then I see Him - and He is Awesome!
Praying with praise is better. It is not easier. I mostly forget to pray this way. I tend to be a cynical and negative person. I forget how good my life has been. I forget how loved and cared for I am. I've lived a safe, blessed life. But when things get a little dark or dangerous, I get depressed and cranky. Suddenly the God who has taken care of me and provided for me is a bad guy and He is ruining my life. Yeah, I turn into a teenager. I get all grumpy and I slam doors. I stomp around and mumble under my breath when I get corrected, I become stubborn over ridiculous, non-issues. I even have temper tantrums. Mature, right?
As the departure date for South Sudan looms closer (June 25th y'all) I find that I'm spending less and less time in prayer, meditation, and hopeful preparation. Instead I am trying to avoid thinking about going while simultaneously worrying about going. I try to clear out the negative thoughts and emotions associated with taking this scary leap of faith, but I forget to fill the empty space with positive truths, so all the crap just comes rushing back in along with some new worries (not unlike Luke 11: 24-26).
In his letter to the Philippians, Paul instructs them to pray with rejoicing - even scary or tough issues can be brought to God in a spirit of thanksgiving, for He is good even when circumstances suck - and to empty out their fears and the desires of their hearts to God. And then he encourages them to fill that empty space up with "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely," and "whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
So, right now, I am praying...
Thank You, Father, for this wonderful, incredible, amazing opportunity to serve You and to learn about loving people who live so very differently from me. I know that You will put me to good use and that I will be a help and not a hindrance.
I give You praise, because You have given a plan and a purpose to my life. Wherever I go, You are with me. The world is a dangerous and scary place, but I am safe in Your hands. No matter what.
Thank you, Jesus, for peace in South Sudan. I pray it would be a lasting one. Thank You for the stability You are bringing to this new country. Thank You for loving and caring for all people; You are good and gracious.
Please, Holy Spirit, help me to be strong and courageous and to stand in Your Truth. I love You and I love what You have made. Help me to build up and not destroy Your marvelous creation. Thank You for choosing me to be part of Your kingdom work. Thank You for making all this possible by Your sacrifice.
It is in Your holy name that I pray. Amen.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I guess I'm feeling a bit anxious. Btw, when did that "with thanksgiving" phrase get in there? I often whine at God when I "present my requests" to Him. Or I make a list of demands. Now I'm supposed to rejoice?
This kind of praying (apparently the right kind) takes exercise. But it is worth it. When I pray without thanksgiving, my prayers are self-focused, shallow, and needy. But when I acknowledge God and thank Him for all He has done, is doing, and will do, then I see Him - and He is Awesome!
Praying with praise is better. It is not easier. I mostly forget to pray this way. I tend to be a cynical and negative person. I forget how good my life has been. I forget how loved and cared for I am. I've lived a safe, blessed life. But when things get a little dark or dangerous, I get depressed and cranky. Suddenly the God who has taken care of me and provided for me is a bad guy and He is ruining my life. Yeah, I turn into a teenager. I get all grumpy and I slam doors. I stomp around and mumble under my breath when I get corrected, I become stubborn over ridiculous, non-issues. I even have temper tantrums. Mature, right?
As the departure date for South Sudan looms closer (June 25th y'all) I find that I'm spending less and less time in prayer, meditation, and hopeful preparation. Instead I am trying to avoid thinking about going while simultaneously worrying about going. I try to clear out the negative thoughts and emotions associated with taking this scary leap of faith, but I forget to fill the empty space with positive truths, so all the crap just comes rushing back in along with some new worries (not unlike Luke 11: 24-26).
In his letter to the Philippians, Paul instructs them to pray with rejoicing - even scary or tough issues can be brought to God in a spirit of thanksgiving, for He is good even when circumstances suck - and to empty out their fears and the desires of their hearts to God. And then he encourages them to fill that empty space up with "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely," and "whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
So, right now, I am praying...
Thank You, Father, for this wonderful, incredible, amazing opportunity to serve You and to learn about loving people who live so very differently from me. I know that You will put me to good use and that I will be a help and not a hindrance.
I give You praise, because You have given a plan and a purpose to my life. Wherever I go, You are with me. The world is a dangerous and scary place, but I am safe in Your hands. No matter what.
Thank you, Jesus, for peace in South Sudan. I pray it would be a lasting one. Thank You for the stability You are bringing to this new country. Thank You for loving and caring for all people; You are good and gracious.
Please, Holy Spirit, help me to be strong and courageous and to stand in Your Truth. I love You and I love what You have made. Help me to build up and not destroy Your marvelous creation. Thank You for choosing me to be part of Your kingdom work. Thank You for making all this possible by Your sacrifice.
It is in Your holy name that I pray. Amen.
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